Hmmm… WTF is going on the Red Carpet tonight? Everyone’s skin either looks like woodgrain or they’re pasty-beyond-the-dead pale with dark lipstick. I don’t really comment on this stuff because it’s just done to death, but OH MA GOD. It’s really, confusing me. How do people with this much $$, this much help can look so god-awful. Senior proms have better style.

Christ…

It’s either Vegas, or lace curtains going on tonight. People need to just start picking things that make them look good, trends be damned! If you’re still indecisive, watch any Audrey Hepburn movie for inspiration. Those dresses are over 50 years old and look exponentially better than what is parading down there tonight.